How to be an Exceptional Troll

Think you're an effective Troll? Think again. DO you know how to successfully "infuriate and induce inflammatory comments"? DO you push yourself to break all boundaries between reality and virtual space by taking the art of successful trolling to all new heights? DO you know how to induce exasperated sighs, frustrated screams, muted groaning/ grunting sounds in your friends even through your Facebook pages?

If you answered yes to ALL of the above questions here's to you. *Chink* (read : sound of the glass of your preferred beverage clinking against mine). If not, here's how to make all the Internet/ Real-Life trolls proud, in an easy-to-understand step-by-step process.

STEP 1 : IF IT'S STALK-WORTHY, IT'S TROLL-WORTHY
Consider this everyday virtual situation. You check your notifications on Facebook and find that two of your friends are having a very serious conversation on each others' walls about Japanese Manga. (For those of you unaccustomed to the previous capitalized words {LOL AT YOU}, Google it.) A good troll would not just read and follow every single one of those posts, but also engage themselves in the conversation, whether replied to or not.

A brilliant troll however, would say something like - I like Alphonso Manga more than Japanese Manga - thereby not just getting a few likes for effective trolling, but also achieving the satisfaction of enraging and annoying Japanese Manga fans.

STEP 2 : IF IT'S GETTING A LOT OF VIEWS, YOUR TROLLING SHOULD TOO

Ah yes, the YouTube phenomenon. That virtual space where anything and everything can be viewed, liked, disliked and, you've got it, trolled. This is where rookie trolls learn from the masters. It is on the most disliked videos that the treasures of ultimate trolling come to light. Phrases like - "Here's proof that the Apocalypse is nearing" and "I knew Friday wasn't the worst thing out there" - are examples of good trolling. But what makes an exceptional troll?

USING a video like

in real life TO troll someone, in this case, YOUR MOM.

Yeah, we trolls be cool lyk tat.

(And the above sentence is a flash in the pan tutorial on how to get all those Grammar/ Spelling Nazis trolled)

STEP 3 : TROLLING CAN GET YOU INTO AWKWARD SPOTS, ALWAYS KNOW HOW TO APOLOGIZE
There's a fine line between trolling and just being a downright annoying abomination. Take for example, this video of The Annoying Orange

Now, I like Annoying Orange, just as much as the next troll, but too many Annoying Oranges around you CAN drive even the Dalai Lama up the wall. For all you know, the person you're trolling, was in fact trolled way too many times that day, and hence is venting out on you. In such situations, calm down, apologize and run away. Far, far away. You don't want someone capable of trolling you at epic proportions.

And so, here ends my tutorial of How to be an Exceptional Troll. Happy Trolling!

Next time's post will be about How to Meme Your Friends, because Epic Meme is Epic, provided I get enough views for this.