So, this is it?

Of late, I've been on a very negative train of thought. Friends of mine have called me mentally and emotionally beyond my years, which I'm not too sure is a comment I'd take to very kindly. I've heard of people who are well into their forties but still behave like they're in their late teens. I'd like to say I'm unbiased and not judgmental, but even I know I'm not. So, why lie to myself? I believe that with age must come to maturity, but experience should also ensure the mind matures. I don't think I have any right to judge those who would still like to be 'young at heart', in fact I'd encourage it. However, I do believe that if you're young at heart, you should be able to make mature decisions as well. It's not impossible, I know people who manage that everyday and carry this paradoxical personality with utmost ease.

When I was younger, I've had 'pearls of wisdom' like, "Oh, one day you'll understand" or "Maybe when you're older you'll know how difficult it is". I'm at a crossroads right now, where I have to choose between wanting to believe that things don't really have to be difficult and accepting the fact that with this understanding of how the world works, comes a sense of giving into the preconceived notion that life is difficult. I don't know. If I were doing something I truly believed in, then wouldn't life be joyful? Logically, life wouldn't feel difficult or harsh o unfair, right? Isn't that what life is supposed to be about anyway?

Or maybe I should just shut up and ride the wave, without questioning where the wave comes from, or how it will crash, where it will take me, whether I'll fall, whether I'll drown (if this were the case, speaking figuratively now, I'd sink like an anchor) or whether I'll float (ha ha). Maybe life isn't supposed to be questioned, despite the fact that science has made us question everything, maybe life is like dark matter. No-one knows what life's made of, nor why it is present, just like dark matter. We know how they're created, but not why.

I feel complacency creeping in now. So, I'll stop with that. For now.

A Different Station

If thoughts were premonitions of what was to become actions, wouldn’t it be logical for death to come earlier than people presume? People think of death almost everyday in some form or the other. We kill a mosquito and relish the fact that we “got him”. A beloved pet dies and we wail. But when it’s a person, the sorrow that engulfs the incident is prejudiced and tainted by the way in which the death occurred, the character of the person in question, whether he deserved to die or not and ultimately the unnerving thought that we all end up thinking where he or she has gone.

Considering all of this, shouldn’t life’s ultimate aim be death? And in turn, if most theological books reveal, isn’t the ultimate aim of death, life? Think about it. Hindu philosophy presents the ideology of rebirth, reincarnation and the whole nine yards surrounding the “past lives to undo bad karma” dogma. Christianity believes in death leading the soul to either the Gates of Hell of the Kingdom of Heaven, depending upon the acts of the soul when he or she was alive and kicking on earth. Judaism presents the idea of a Messiah who will be their saviour and ultimately let all of them join God in his Kingdom of Heaven, again. 

Let me take the liberty of assuming that the atheists will be kind enough to hear me out with an open mind, while the religiously inclined will let their minds explore the possibility that perhaps the Kingdom of Heaven is just another term for Earth, but with better people; people who have learned from their “past lives”, people who have understood that life was just the waiting room where we try and while away time, sometimes getting to know the other passengers, sometimes choosing to turn away from them. 

Now don’t misconstrue my words. I firmly believe that a life spent simply waiting to die is absolutely worthless. You wouldn’t be in the waiting room with other people if you weren’t meant to mingle, right? Then again, I do not believe that there is a purpose to the act of waiting either. Maybe happiness lies somewhere in the middle, the platform, if I may. The strange in-between level of both whiling away time by observing and reacting to the people, and things, around you, as well as getting ready to catch your train. 

Strangely it’s at times like these, 10 in the night, having the weirdest of conversations in my head with myself, that apt songs fill in. From “What if God was one of us” to “Bulla ki jaana main kaun”, it could be more than just coincidence that other people have had the same doubts arise. Would you really address God by his/hers/its name? And does God really know you, as you are now? What if he/she/it just moulded a rough cast of what he thought you should be like, but let you have your freedom in shaping your ideals, beliefs, mannerisms and thoughts?

Maybe that’s why people see spirits and ghosts. Maybe they are souls whose trains have broken down or hit a snag because the driver forgot to tell his wife not to pack his lunch, or if it were the erstwhile “City of Dreams”, the dabbawala. For some reason, this quirky approach to the whole concept of life and death brings a smile to my face. Initially I thought it would lead me to stay up all night, wondering where these trains were headed and who would be meeting the passengers at their stops, but now I guess I’ve convinced myself that it doesn’t really matter. People will be people. They will meet each other through coincidence or destiny or curious desire, get chatty, as Indian platforms are proof to, and it won’t matter what stop it is. Maybe the stop is the much sought after “Kingdom of Heaven” or maybe it’s just the same station they got in from, but just a different platform, meeting familiar faces again and unfamiliar faces to hope to meet again. Who knows? The dead are busy gathering their things to board while those living wonder if they will reach safely, wherever they are headed.

Going Gaga

Lady Gaga.

Two words that garner a range of emotions. While her "Monsters" revel in her confidence and self-esteem, her haters have tried everything to break her spirit. Calling her a transvestite, trashing her music sense and even calling her sense of style 'bad taste", they've done it all. I'm going to restraint myself from taking sides and offer an outside perspective.

While you can't deny the fact that her choice of apparel is daring at the least, how is it that our society has become so inscrutably intolerant that we've labeled it 'bad'. Who are we, as individuals, to question her choices? Haven't others before her done the same? Let's start off with Cindy Lauper. If you don't know who she is, I'd suggest you search for the songs 'Girls just wanna have fun' and 'Time after time'.  The vivid and intense colours combined with a fauvian choice of complementary colours caused quite an amount of strife among the fashionistas of the day, but now, such combinations have a noun coined just for that. Let's welcome 'eclectic fashion' onto the stage.

Madonna may be known for her choice in underwear (or just normal clothing if you're willing to consider teh conical bra genre clothing), but her choice in music too was questioned. Arguably, her earlier songs do sound like Lauper rip offs, but eventually even she managed to find her niche in the realm of superstardom by finding her own 'unique' personality. And if today's commercial music is anything to go by, I believe both Christina Aguilera and Britney Spears consider her one of their biggest inspirations, not to mention the millions of people worldwide who finally acknowledged her presence as a strong and fierce singer.

Isn't Lady Gaga doing just the same? So what if her lyrics are provocative? I'm sure 'Like a Virgin' wasn't exactly met with approving nods. If you've heard her sing the a capella version of her songs, you'd agree that she can actually sing and do it well.

So if you've got hate ( no, I'm not going to plagiarize Arjun Rampal's - You're my bait), let it go. Chances are that Lady Gaga could become a huge inspiration for other artists in the future. Till then, why not bear with the Monsters, the Beliebers ( that's a story for another day) and the various other groups of people who willingly name themselves with imaginative and quirky collective nouns.