There's a major dilemma that a lot of people around my age face. We want answers to a lot of uncomfortable questions, and unfortunately, we know that the right people to ask will always react the wrong way while the wrong people to ask will always react the right way. So what do we do?
No, that wasn't rhetoric and I don't have an answer. I haven't the faintest idea of how to tackle the situation either. Most of my questions and statements will make people cringe or admonish me for even saying things like that because it isn't acceptable as per middle class social protocol. So, by that co-relation, I will probably come as close to talking about my friends and boyfriend to my mom and dad as my tongue will come close to touching my nose. A few people can do it, while for me it will remain a struggle of - almost there... YES! I SKIMMED IT!... No, wait, that was just my breath condensing.
Honestly though, pre-teen years were a cinch compared to this whole new world of absolute confusion. Nobody said it would be hard on YOU when your FRIEND got married and dropped off the face of the earth. Nobody said that while having a fairly serious relationship is easy, telling your parents about it is as hard as trying to make a 2 year old understand that he really shouldn't pinch his... um... stuff. Unless it finally dawns on them that the more they try and mould you, the more hurt it does to them, you end up wasting your breath, time and energy.
It's odd how relationships have suddenly changed. Take for instance the 5 hours of "Workshop" that we had on "Ethics and Value Education on Inter-Personal Relationships". When asked about all the relationships that we hold dear to us, the first one that popped up was Friends, followed by Family. I don't know if I can call it a generation gap or if it's simply because we're young that this instance occurred. By this co-relation, Friends trump Family. Oddly enough, I just overheard a conversation between siblings who are extremely close to each other, despite their age gap. Now, keep in mind that the people involved are adults who are well over the age of 18. The younger one among them just moved into a new home, that they've taken on rent, while the older of the two is in the process of setting up their new flat. Had this been in a military situation (which I've personally been through), the older of the two wouldn't have felt any uneasiness to ask a friend if they could be accommodating enough to let the aforementioned person keep a few cartons in their house while the flat is ready and the luggage arrives. However, what's surprising is that, the same person finds it ethically wrong to ask their sibling to do the same. So, does that mean that we now live in a society where the age old idiom "Blood is thicker than water" is invalid? I don't know about you, but I sure think so.
The people around me, I find, are finding it more difficult to keep relationships with their own flesh and blood than with their friends and colleagues. Maybe this is opinion of mine stems from the fact that I'm a single child brought up for the most part of my life in a Nuclear setting, with a sudden exposure to a Joint Family's workings. Everyone thinks they either live in a Utopian scenario or a Dystopian one. Surely there must be something in between? It can't be all black and white, right? From my (limited) exposure to people, I've found that strong bonds are forged regardless of what age you are, where your roots may lie, what tongues you speak in or whether you're connected by a few lines on a family tree or not. I've found that I can sustain wonderful conversations with someone over 55 as well as with someone under 15, provided that their minds are open to to changing ideas. Needless to say, I've had my share of disagreements (and how) with people over 55 and under 15 as well, with one of them related extremely closely by blood calling me spoilt and blaming my behaviour on the books I read and the friends I keep. Yes, apparently to some of us in the world, a voracious reading habit is the curse that befalls all free thinking 20somethings who are willing to explore, experiment and find themselves before they get caught in the rat race.
I apologize for the thinly veiled sarcasm. Sometimes, my frustration slips out without me even knowing (and I don't have the heart to edit the wit out of my work). Of course, this doesn't mean that all my friends have replaced my family. There are too many documents to go through for that to be possible in the least. However, from a completely opportunistic point of view, there are quite a few perks of being bound to people legally. Property being a major factor to keep people, whether they like it or not, together.
But in the end, it all boils down to people. People and their relationships. Whom to ask what about seems pointless when you realize that you're just (wait for it)...
No, that wasn't rhetoric and I don't have an answer. I haven't the faintest idea of how to tackle the situation either. Most of my questions and statements will make people cringe or admonish me for even saying things like that because it isn't acceptable as per middle class social protocol. So, by that co-relation, I will probably come as close to talking about my friends and boyfriend to my mom and dad as my tongue will come close to touching my nose. A few people can do it, while for me it will remain a struggle of - almost there... YES! I SKIMMED IT!... No, wait, that was just my breath condensing.
Honestly though, pre-teen years were a cinch compared to this whole new world of absolute confusion. Nobody said it would be hard on YOU when your FRIEND got married and dropped off the face of the earth. Nobody said that while having a fairly serious relationship is easy, telling your parents about it is as hard as trying to make a 2 year old understand that he really shouldn't pinch his... um... stuff. Unless it finally dawns on them that the more they try and mould you, the more hurt it does to them, you end up wasting your breath, time and energy.
It's odd how relationships have suddenly changed. Take for instance the 5 hours of "Workshop" that we had on "Ethics and Value Education on Inter-Personal Relationships". When asked about all the relationships that we hold dear to us, the first one that popped up was Friends, followed by Family. I don't know if I can call it a generation gap or if it's simply because we're young that this instance occurred. By this co-relation, Friends trump Family. Oddly enough, I just overheard a conversation between siblings who are extremely close to each other, despite their age gap. Now, keep in mind that the people involved are adults who are well over the age of 18. The younger one among them just moved into a new home, that they've taken on rent, while the older of the two is in the process of setting up their new flat. Had this been in a military situation (which I've personally been through), the older of the two wouldn't have felt any uneasiness to ask a friend if they could be accommodating enough to let the aforementioned person keep a few cartons in their house while the flat is ready and the luggage arrives. However, what's surprising is that, the same person finds it ethically wrong to ask their sibling to do the same. So, does that mean that we now live in a society where the age old idiom "Blood is thicker than water" is invalid? I don't know about you, but I sure think so.
The people around me, I find, are finding it more difficult to keep relationships with their own flesh and blood than with their friends and colleagues. Maybe this is opinion of mine stems from the fact that I'm a single child brought up for the most part of my life in a Nuclear setting, with a sudden exposure to a Joint Family's workings. Everyone thinks they either live in a Utopian scenario or a Dystopian one. Surely there must be something in between? It can't be all black and white, right? From my (limited) exposure to people, I've found that strong bonds are forged regardless of what age you are, where your roots may lie, what tongues you speak in or whether you're connected by a few lines on a family tree or not. I've found that I can sustain wonderful conversations with someone over 55 as well as with someone under 15, provided that their minds are open to to changing ideas. Needless to say, I've had my share of disagreements (and how) with people over 55 and under 15 as well, with one of them related extremely closely by blood calling me spoilt and blaming my behaviour on the books I read and the friends I keep. Yes, apparently to some of us in the world, a voracious reading habit is the curse that befalls all free thinking 20somethings who are willing to explore, experiment and find themselves before they get caught in the rat race.
I apologize for the thinly veiled sarcasm. Sometimes, my frustration slips out without me even knowing (and I don't have the heart to edit the wit out of my work). Of course, this doesn't mean that all my friends have replaced my family. There are too many documents to go through for that to be possible in the least. However, from a completely opportunistic point of view, there are quite a few perks of being bound to people legally. Property being a major factor to keep people, whether they like it or not, together.
